You're watching My heart break a little more

i can not tell you how much i am ready for this month to be over. The Lord is faithful, i know this, He always shows up in His perfect timing, and makes everything beautiful. I feel like this month should just go ahead and be over, i am not one to get down easy.
I dont like to see people hurt. ever, it hurts my heart so much more than i think i even know. this month alone, i think that my heart has hurt the most it has in a long time, everyone i know seems to be going through major life issuses, and when i say huge, i mean so much bigger than huge.
i am thankful for the people in my life, i am thankful for the family that i have, i am thankful that i get to wake up, and even though at the time, my problems seem big and life ending, but they arent, they arent even close. i am thankful people trust me, i am thankful for the handful people i can trust. and as much as i hate to say it, i am even thankful for this month, there are so many things to be learned, if i would only be open to learning them. I think the Lord hearts break when ours do. i ask the lord to break my heart for what breaks his, and i am just now seeing that maybe that is what he is doing. and thats cool with me, because maybe, that will help me love more like he does, which is really all i want. i want to take away the pains of people, i want to fix the bad things that i have happened in the last 24 hours alone, i want my family to know that i love them, and i would drop everything for them, and do my best to make things okay, and i want my friends to know the same thing, but the truth is, i can fix the things that are going on, i wouldnt even know where to start, but i can be there, i can pray, and i can trust that God knows better than i do, i dont have anything else to lean on.

if you happen to come across this, say a prayer for my sister in law and her family. (and my family, cause to me even in laws that aren't"really" mine, they are still family, and i love them.)
i am not going to get into what happens, but my heart hurts, and its sad, and there is nothing other than trusting that God is in control, that i can do.

love.